THE URBAN MARTIAN

Likes: Glimble, blandoid dooples, seared mengii

Dislikes: Narkle, peendip, carg

Fatal flaw: Kills when happy.

Highest compliment: "You're so spherical."

Tone: Impossible to decipher

Real talent: Deriving satisfaction from severe disappointment.

Justification for consumer choices: "I like what I like. Whatever."

Guidance for consumer choices: Zendy, cargle hop, bingle borple

Goal in life: To capture and freeze Santa Claus for the Earth museum.

Secret desire: To fuck with Scully.